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Quotes #59 by Alpner Quotes #59 by Alpner
Quotes #59 | "They say a dog is man’s best friend… I don't even have enemies that'll look me dead in the eye whilst taking a shit on my carpet!"

New collection:
DA: [link]
NEW Facebook : [link]


The old "finished" collection
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Facebook: [link]

About the quotes:
1.) I don't own any of the quotes in my collection (unless it's stated otherwise);
2.) Credit is given if the ORIGINAL author of the quote is known;
3.) Even if they are racist, sexist, etc. there is no offense intended; They are made strictly with entertaining purposes;
4.) I don't own any (copyrights), so you can use them however you want them;
5.) Possibly there are some grammar mistakes and it would be much appreciated, if you notice them, to let me know, so I can fix them asap;
Add a Comment:
 
:iconhimitsutsubasa:
himitsutsubasa Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Cool, but (sorry, inner grammar Nazi) there should be an apostrophe in "dont" (which makes it "don't").
Reply
:iconroxycloud:
RoxyCloud Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
hahaah xDD Awesome insight :jawdrop:
Reply
:iconhorse-hart:
Horse-Hart Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Student General Artist
lol I have never met anyone whos dog shits in their house, not even my 3 dogs do XD lol, my one dog will hold in the need to go to the toilet for ages until he is left outside haha
Reply
:iconmisterfriendly:
MisterFriendly Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013
You don't? What kind of la-la, Fro-fro land are you living in?
Reply
:iconk8kate160:
K8kate160 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
Haha I was cracking up while reading that 
Reply
:iconbronybeforepony:
BronyBeforePony Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
so if i took this exact "art" that you posted and used the same description about not owning copyrights, would you be upset with me?
Reply
:iconteatimetrance:
TeaTimeTrance Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
He's used a quote, not STOLEN this image.
Reply
:iconbronybeforepony:
BronyBeforePony Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
okay, then i will use my own font :D
Reply
:iconteatimetrance:
TeaTimeTrance Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Sure go ahead. Quotes are meant to be "quoted". So pssh.
Reply
:iconwystendraco:
WystenDraco Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
LOL! Good one! So true.
Reply
:iconlovelybunny11:
lovelybunny11 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
My mom had a perfectly potty trained kitten to that to her once... xD
Reply
:iconanimenewbie6:
AnimeNewbie6 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha!
Reply
:iconpower-of-sapphire:
power-of-sapphire Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Could we have an adult flag or something for content with profanity please. This site welcomes children too.
Reply
:icondevonta-66:
devonta-66 Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
The fact you think this site "Welcomes" kids is vary funny in itself lol! this site is FAR from welcoming kids. go to popular pics per 5hrs and try not to find one nude art. and kids are smart enough to lie about age and turn off mature tag. lol "Welcoming to kids your funny" XD
Reply
:iconminustwoseventhree:
minustwoseventhree Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
Oh please.
Under thirteen year olds aren't actually permitted to use the site, and it can be taken to court if they do.
Not to mention kids hear far worse, are you seriously going to deny that?
Reply
:iconcaptzealot:
CaptZealot Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
Its like a rollercoaster you got to be tall enough to ride. :P
Reply
:iconeckis:
Eckis Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
This site welcomes children? Wow, tell that to the multitudes of near-porn that plagues the entire site. . .
Reply
:icondusk-728:
Dusk-728 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That...actually happened to me this morning.
Reply
:icondancingintwilight:
DancingInTwilight Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Student General Artist
har har, so true
Reply
:iconhuwman:
Huwman Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Professional
Please stop doing these and post some art instead. I know the attention is probably very nice but these are simply our of place on an art site. Thanks!
Reply
:iconsundaesurprise:
SundaeSurprise Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
this is art, its a picture. It has a literary saying, a one sentence poetry. If DA wanted this off, then they wouldn've deleted it, especially with this popularity.
Reply
:iconhuwman:
Huwman Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Professional
It's possible to say ANYTHING is art, I suppose, but this doesn't pass the test for me. To me, art is about creating, and I don't see how this is creative, For one thing, if we're saying it's "poetry" (and I think that's already stretching the definition) he clearly says it's not HIS "poetry" (all the sayings are, shall we say, "borrowed") so it fails even worse there. I think if he was coming up with these saying himself and/or doing something even mildly inventive with the typography, etc., then it would be different but, as it is, I just think this fails to meet a reasonable definition of "art".

And of course I never said he was breaking any rules or that "DA wanted this off". I was just making a polite request for him to please stop doing this so someone else who has actually done something creative, can get a space on the front page.
Reply
:icondevonta-66:
devonta-66 Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
i understand and feel the same way almost but it will never stop. best just to keep moving forward beside real art is still on the front page.
Reply
:iconhuwman:
Huwman Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Professional
Yes. Something good gets through by mistake once in a while! ;)
Reply
:iconsundaesurprise:
SundaeSurprise Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
well, the internet does not revolve around you. And if the only reason this is up is because people WANTED to see it. If someone made some "artistic" art, then they should not half ass it and expect it to be front page.
Reply
:iconhuwman:
Huwman Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Professional
The syntax in your last two sentences (or sentence fragments) is so unorthodox that I'm not entirely sure I understand your arguments. I am obviously somewhat shocked to learn that the internet does not revolve around me, though. To be honest, I didn't even realize it was revolving at all, but then I'm just an artist and not some internet scientist.
Reply
:iconsundaesurprise:
SundaeSurprise Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Get off your high horse. Was my last sentence simple enough for you? I'm sorry, but because of your childishness by thinking that your question would somehow enable someone to consider and care about what you said, I felt like I shouldn't waste energy with someone like you. You think to much of yourself, you who considers yourself an artist yet asks that someone else's idea of art be taken down.
My last comment had no sentence fragments. The word "And" can be used, though not commonly, to start a sentence. The only noticeable mistake was the fact that I forgot to capitalize the first letter of my first sentence. This is coming from someone who's English is not the best. But when talking of "Art", I think English has little to do with the subject, so stop trying to sound intelligant by finding false mistakes in my grammer.
If you're jealous that this made the front page instead of whatever you made or think is justly enough, then YOU need to evuluate your opinions because not everyone shares them. I hope that doesn't shock you either.
By "revolve", use your overconfident diction to look up the definitions and you will find a description close to "that is heavily influenced or taken over by".
Reply
:iconhuwman:
Huwman Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Professional
I'm embarrassed that my efforts to seem "intelligant" have failed so miserably and I'm glad you have pointed out that "revolve" can have this other definition, since I genuinely thought the internet was turning in a circle and I wasn't just joking around or anything like that. It's especially interesting to learn that we shouldn't express our opinions unless everyone shares them! I obviously have much to learn from you.
Reply
:iconsundaesurprise:
SundaeSurprise Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I never said you shouldn't express your opinion if it doesn't reflect anyone else's but keep in mind a rule even greater than freedom of speech: "Treat others the way you want to be treated." You wouldn't like it if someone tried to convince you to delete your art just because they didn't consider it art or "pass the test" for them. Another rule: "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
If you don't like it, don't comment. In fact, why even click on this if you knew you weren't going to like it?
Now you're using sarcasm to seem like the victim. Please, just admit your opinion was negative and rash and get on with life.
Reply
(2 Replies)
:iconcorky-tan:
Corky-tan Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
THANK YOU.
Reply
:iconhuwman:
Huwman Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Professional
:)
Reply
:iconblacksnowwonderland:
BlackSnowWonderland Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I hear this all the time as an add for my local radio station.
Reply
:iconkittythenekoalien:
KittyTheNekoAlien Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
If that's the ads you get, I wanna live in your area! Radio would be ten times funnier!
Reply
:iconblacksnowwonderland:
BlackSnowWonderland Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Believe me, the rock station in my area is freaking hilarious. 
Reply
:iconkittythenekoalien:
KittyTheNekoAlien Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Sweet XD
Reply
:icondoctoredward:
DoctorEdward Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I must be a dog then.
Reply
:icongravity-hax:
Gravity-HAX Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:rofl:
Reply
:iconthehumblefellow:
TheHumbleFellow Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
:iconclapplz:
Reply
:icontsunarulu:
tsunarulu Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Student Digital Artist
if your dog took a shit on the carpet

then you obviously have no idea of how to raise a dog
Reply
:iconvajrasana:
vajrasana Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Exactly, because all dogs are born with an inherent knowledge from birth that shitting inside the house is bad and every good dog owner has an intrinsic ability to tell when their dog needs to shit every second, minute, hour of the day.
Reply
:icontsunarulu:
tsunarulu Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Student Digital Artist
sadly many people do think so when getting a dog for the first time :shakefish:
Reply
:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
Bullshit.
Reply
:icontsunarulu:
tsunarulu Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Student Digital Artist
if dogs can be trained to smell cancer.
they can be trained to wait until they get out of the house to take a shit.

if you do not know that. you have missed out on a lot.
Reply
:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013
No, you've missed a ton.
Some dogs can be trained for 'sniffing' cancer. It's a specialized field. Pay attention to the details.
Reply
:icontsunarulu:
tsunarulu Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Student Digital Artist
my point is not cancer.
my point is a dog can easily be trained to call out when it needs to do it's business. or wait until they go for a walk.
its the first thing you're supposed to teach it when you first get one
Reply
:iconmajoraswaker:
MajorasWaker Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
:lol:
Reply
:iconteensora:
teensora Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
I guess you don't have any dog enemies then
Reply
:iconfunkymonkey19:
FunkyMonkey19 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Lol.
Reply
:iconartimiss1238:
artimiss1238 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Student General Artist
and thats why i have a cat <3
Reply
:iconhalfmadcharacter:
HalfMadCharacter Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Student General Artist
You don't? I do.
Reply
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