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December 4, 2012
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Quotes #30 by Alpner Quotes #30 by Alpner
Quotes #30 | “What do sharks have in common with people? The only great ones are white”

After a couple "off" weeks I'm back with a new Quotes. I got an order from a friend for more then a hundred new stickers with funny quotes on it. I changed the background, font and size from previous design. Since I got many complains how "this sh*t doesn't belong here on DA" I probably won't upload all of them, but I will post a link where you can see them...

New collection:
DA: [link]
Facebook: [link]

The old "finished" collection
DA: [link]
Facebook: [link]

About the quotes:
1.) I don't own any of the quotes in my collection (unless it's stated otherwise);
2.) Credit is given if the ORIGINAL author of the quote is known;
3.) Even if they are racist, sexist, etc. there is no offense intended; They are made strictly with entertaining purposes;
4.) I don't own any (copyrights), so you can use them however you want them;
5.) Possibly there are some grammar mistakes and it would be much appreciated, if you notice them, to let me know, so I can fix them asap;
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmurkmer:
Murkmer Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2014
"3.) Even if they are racist, sexist, etc. there is no offense intended; They are made strictly with entertaining purposes;"

Some people entertain themselves by torturing animals. So you can't justify everything by saying "eh, relax, it's just made with entertaining purposes !"
Reply
:iconraven-girl14:
raven-girl14 Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2013  Student General Artist
don't do that! 
Reply
:iconinu4:
inu4 Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
oh, that's funny! i'm mixed but i take no offense to it...
Reply
:iconcardinalpoint:
CardinalPoint Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Am I just wrong, or is this racism? I don't get it.
Reply
:iconetsuko-hime:
Etsuko-Hime Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It is >.<
Reply
:iconcardinalpoint:
CardinalPoint Featured By Owner May 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
urrgh >,.,<
Reply
:iconetsuko-hime:
Etsuko-Hime Featured By Owner May 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yes D:
Reply
:iconkit-day-3:
Kit-day-3 Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I hate to disagree, go talk to a whale shark.
Reply
:icondragonfly22:
Dragonfly22 Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Came for the quote, stayed for the debate =p
Reply
:iconbenelou:
BeneLou Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014
Same, this is hilarious.
Reply
:iconzath9:
zath9 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013
The comments are the real joke! It is NOT the place for white people to aggressively condemn racist jokes IN DEFENSE OF OTHER PEOPLE! Let the actual minorities defend themselves because, as most of the commenters may have missed, they are sentient, free thinking people too.
Reply
:icondontaskwonttell:
DontAskWontTell Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013
LoL: i'm mixed- and i find this funny
Reply
:iconseraphic-lunacy:
Seraphic-Lunacy Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
I think Asians are pretty great too. . . xD
Reply
:iconcandycrab:
CandyCrab Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Student Digital Artist
I think Blacks are pretty great too... xD
Reply
:iconchalicetheif:
ChaliceTheif Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Student General Artist
I think Kangaroos are pretty great too...xD
Reply
:iconchameleongiant:
ChameleonGiant Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Student General Artist
that's so mean! DX
Reply
:iconroller323:
roller323 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013
tell that to an oceanic blacktip shark
Reply
:iconjplgaara:
jplgaara Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Lol, this is funny. but I have to disagree. haha
Reply
:iconkolaida:
Kolaida Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013
Hahah, I seriously couldn't stop laughing just now. At the audacity and just everything, LOL!! I mean, all of it!
Reply
:iconacidbl00d:
Acidbl00d Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
hahaha the great white shark :)
Reply
:iconhdblacksnow:
HDBlackSnow Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013
Are all these people here serious? I can't believe that. Really guys, wake up! There is no fun in racism, none at all, and this so-called "quote" is no joke but just plain wrong. What is wrong with you? Have you forgotten where this leads? Have you forgotten the dead of Auschwitz, of Rwanda and of Yugoslavia? If I read the comments on this page, my stomach turns and I want to cry, really. And really, NOONE answer this with "Oh wait, he says there is no offense intended so it's okay"! Are you all really THAT ignorant? If you stand for such opinions, they ARE offensive and there is nothing you can do about that. How about I tell each and every one of you that you are terrible persons, you and all of your families should die a bitter agonizing death, no offense intended. Would that be okay? Think about it before you continue to write such bullshit down. Over and out.
Reply
:iconphantomgiz:
PhantomGiz Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2013   Digital Artist
bitch please
Reply
:iconpassing37:
passing37 Featured By Owner May 19, 2013
I do not find them offensive.
Reply
:iconxyllem:
xyllem Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2013
It is just a joke. If anything, it is teasing white people for thinking that.
Reply
:iconmushiepasta:
MushiePasta Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
Frankly, this really doesn't offend me. For all of you who aren' t white, take a look around and you'll realize how many great people who aren't white are out there. I had a good laugh after reading it and realizing how much of a big lie it was! Lol, wow. If this makes you caucasians feel warm and fuzzy then so be it! I find this hilarious though :)
Reply
:iconmtfoxx3:
MtfoxX3 Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Let me throw in something else here... imagine that this quote said that the only great ones are black. would ANYONE say ANYTHING...? Absolutely not!!! Everyone would be entertained. The whole "racist" thing is thrown around so frequently that people don't even think about it anymore. If you hate Obama you're racist. If you hated any other white president it doesn't matter! If you call an American fat it doesn't matter, it's funny to people. If you make some crack about Asian eyesight, goodness gracious prepare to take your lumps! Y-You see what I mean? This whole "racist" thing is a matter of opinion, that people only bring up because they're afraid of offending a certain race, but have no concern for another. I dunno... It just seems kinda silly to me.
Reply
:iconkolaida:
Kolaida Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013
Okay, pretty sure this is NOT going to lead to some massive race war. People get offended everyday. Now, if he was hiring people and truly believed this policy and discriminated against people, that would be different. In the quotes, old people have been made fun of as well as some others. I'm sure by the end of the quotes, EVERY race, religion, etc will get some of theirs.

That actually DID make me feel better, though. I recently lost my mind at a guy and called him a terrible person among other things. And I didNOT mean any offense. Even have to see a therapist now for it. Hmmm, no, I'd just think you were angry.

People that are racist that it their burden to bear. It's a heavy one and pretty pointless, but it takes more away from their life than gives. Seeing his other quotes, though, I doubt this guy is actually racist.
Reply
:iconacidbl00d:
Acidbl00d Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i have a quote for you ...
"Why so serious?"
Reply
:iconhdblacksnow:
HDBlackSnow Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013
Because this is serious.
Reply
:iconshadowtiger16:
ShadowTiger16 Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Only if you think so. Nobody else seems bothered. Learn to take a joke dude. Nobody besides white people are offended.
Reply
:iconacidbl00d:
Acidbl00d Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
oh also... its just a wordplay since there is only one species of sharks that's called 'great white'
Reply
:iconacidbl00d:
Acidbl00d Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yes YOU are being serious.
and this Quote shouldn't be taken seriously
Reply
:iconapocalypticmartyr:
ApocalypticMartyr Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh calm your tits, everyone, and read the description.
"Even if they are racist, sexist, etc. there is no offense intended; They are made strictly with entertaining purposes"
Reply
:iconhdblacksnow:
HDBlackSnow Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013
Are you serious? How the fuck is it ok if there's no offense intended? How about I tell you: "You suck and you're ugly, no offense intended." Is that okay then?
Reply
:iconapocalypticmartyr:
ApocalypticMartyr Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You shouldn't take it so seriously, though. Are you going to rage at me if some random dude on the internet was racist? You have to admit, that sounds pretty pathetic.
Reply
:iconchibi-charm:
chibi-charm Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Student
and i have been indeed entertained :3

(maybe some of these quotes should have a mature rating? O.o)
Reply
:icontazhia:
Tazhia Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Racist. But i get it... T_T
Reply
:iconxthhxaimiforevr:
xTHHxAimiForevr Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Here are some more quotes that I think are hilarious. I mean seriously. This is some comical fuckin' shit:

"95% of white males have at one point in their lives, experienced yellow fever. Many factors have contributed to this phenomenon such as guilt from head taxes, internment camps, dropping the Nuclear bomb and the Viet Nam War . This exchange works both ways as asian girls have a tendency to go for white guys. (White girls never go for asian guys. Bruce Lee and Paul Kariya’s dad are the only recorded instances in modern history). Asian girls often to do this to get back at their strict traditional fathers. There is also the option of dating black guys, but they know deep down that this would give their non-english speaking grandmother(s) a heart attack."


"What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

What's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire?
A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.

What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?
Niggers.

Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think it's whale shit.

What do you call a nigger in a tree with a briefcase?
Branch manager.

How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek?
They don't work in the future, either.

Why do niggers cry during sex?
The Mace.

How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
Take your foot off the back of his head.

How do you get a nigger out of a tree?
Cut the rope.

What do you call a 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A Good start

How long does it take a black woman to take a sh|t?
-9 months."

"White woman ape-ducted and beaten to death by nigger in Florida.
White child stabbed to death by an ape-dopted niglet neighbor.
White teen set on fire by a gang of niggers.
White woman motorist is run off the road, raped, and beaten to death with baseball bat by ape.
White girl beaten unconscious on school bus by 5 niggers.
White pedestrians attacked by gangs of niggers in Denver, Baltimore, Portland, Philly.
Ah fucking niggers, making the world a dangerous place."

"why its so hard for whites to get pregant white men have cocks/why white men like to eat pussy little dicks/why whites smell like dogs when wet cause they are/why mixed kids called mutts their 1/2 white/how you know your in a packed white club its cold/why whites like tanning they love blacks/"

Oh yea, almost forgot. Rule number 3 & 5 apply here.

3.) Even if they are racist, sexist, etc. there is no offense intended; They are made strictly with entertaining purposes;

5.) Possibly there are some grammar mistakes and it would be much appreciated, if you notice them, to let me know, so I can fix them asap;

*Disclaimer: I am not racist at all! I know that black jokes really are really making fun of racism instead of supporting it

But you intelligent people knew that already.

Now this shit is fuckin' art.

See how that works?
Reply
:iconphantomgiz:
PhantomGiz Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2013   Digital Artist
help dying here x'DD
Reply
:iconorchidsandvines:
OrchidsAndVines Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013
Racist jokes can be funny but there are ones that are just tasteless. Like the majority of the ones mentioned above where they explicitly or implicitly call other races shit. Or the ones that kept saying nigger - especially in conjunction to shit. That's not funny and I'm not even black. And the racist jokes that actually mock racism are funny and clever or satirises real things which includes none of the ones listed above. Actually the first long one was pretty funny but thats it
Reply
:iconxthhxaimiforevr:
xTHHxAimiForevr Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
> Racist jokes can be funny

Implying
Reply
:iconsmokeg:
SmokeG Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
None of this shit is funny, nor is it art. Its just Shit. and U R a moron.
Reply
:iconxthhxaimiforevr:
xTHHxAimiForevr Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That's the whole point (which you so cleverly missed). NONE of it is funny, NONE of it is art. Neither is the shitty quote this 'artist' posted.
Reply
:iconroller323:
roller323 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
..............NO
Reply
:iconphostructor:
Phostructor Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
Asshole - There is humor that plays on societal attitudes about race, and there is crap that simply offends, and validates racist motherfuckers by propagating their pathetic attempts at humor.

I may despise what you say, but I accept your right to say it. You simply have to be willing to sacrifice the respect of decent society.
Reply
:iconfailedxexperimentx13:
FailedxExperimentx13 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist Filmographer
1.) I don't own any of the quotes in my collection (unless it's stated otherwise);

3.) Even if they are racist, sexist, etc. there is no offense intended; They are made strictly with entertaining purposes;

Read before you comment
Reply
:iconphostructor:
Phostructor Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
I did read. I understood. If you are the medium for their message you are still responsible for continuing to distribute an abhorrent philosophy. You consciously choose to reject this view. If something is intrinsically offensive by the fact that it is racist, it doesn't change that fact when you give the caveat "no offense intended".

I pity you. Your willful lack of understanding separates you from your highest potential as a human being. I accept your right to publish what you want. I am against censorship. I wish to persuade you of your mistake and encourage you to change your view. I believe that, until you recognize the evil of the 'I'm not responsible 'cause someone else said it,' view, you simply have to be willing to sacrifice the respect of decent society.

Can't you understand that certain kinds of memes allow shallow people to dehumanize the subject of those memes? There were hundreds of anti-Semitic jokes in Germany before the Holocaust. The institutionalized racism of the old South resulted in thousands of lynchings. Read some history, cultivate some empathy, and pray you don't wind up a member of a persecuted minority.
Reply
:iconfailedxexperimentx13:
FailedxExperimentx13 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Hobbyist Filmographer
You pity me? Who exactly do you think you are? Total lack of respect. Just because you change an insult into a higher vocabulary doesn't mean that its no longer an insult. Calling me inhuman and saying that I lack empathy is simply a testament to how ignorant /you/ are. You don't know me. Really, I don't know or care who you are or what you do and I'm certainly not going to listen to your 'holier than thou' grabage. It's a quote, on the internet, which has much more evil things to offer. Next time you're going to spend your time insulting someone else's work or someone ELSE; don't.
Reply
:iconphostructor:
Phostructor Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013
From your response I can't help but wonder if you read the entire first paragraph I wrote? It addresses the basic point we are in disagreement about. What do you say about who is responsible for distributing bad ideas?

Oh yes, in your 16 year old wisdom you have made a point - indeed the internet has much more evil to offer than offensive quotes.(But I cannot be holier than thou because I do not subscribe to any religion.) That you choose to be insulted by pity is not my fault - I was sincerely expressing concern. But whether or not there is greater evil, if you recognize that something is not is not good, why would you support it?
Reply
:iconfailedxexperimentx13:
FailedxExperimentx13 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Hobbyist Filmographer
I read your entire responce. And just because I'm only 16 doesn't mean I have no views. The younger generation probably knows the internet better than any other.

Good day
Reply
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