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Quotes #11 by Alpner Quotes #11 by Alpner
Quotes #11 | “I decided to burn lots of calories today… so I set a fat kid on fire!”

After a couple "off" weeks I'm back with a new Quotes. I got an order from a friend for more then a hundred new stickers with funny quotes on it. I changed the background, font and size from previous design. Since I got many complains how "this sh*t doesn't belong here on DA" I probably won't upload all of them, but I will post a link where you can see them...

New collection:
DA: [link]
Facebook: [link]

The old "finished" collection
DA: [link]
Facebook: [link]

About the quotes:
1.) I don't own any of the quotes in my collection (unless it's stated otherwise);
2.) Credit is given if the ORIGINAL author of the quote is known;
3.) Even if they are racist, sexist, etc. there is no offense intended; They are made strictly with entertaining purposes;
4.) I don't own any (copyrights), so you can use them however you want them;
5.) Possibly there are some grammar mistakes and it would be much appreciated, if you notice them, to let me know, so I can fix them asap;
Add a Comment:
 
:iconplusheight4plusgut:
PlusHeight4PlusGut Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
LOL
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:icontreyorsomething:
Treyorsomething Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2013
Sounds like something I would do.
Reply
:iconraven-girl14:
raven-girl14 Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2013  Student General Artist
hahahahaha!
Reply
:icondavid-the-thing:
David-The-Thing Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Student Artist
OMG LOL! XDXDXDXD
Reply
:iconsheepspotatonugget:
Sheepspotatonugget Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
HAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT
Reply
:iconnarutocatwoman:
narutocatwoman Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013
You can't drink and drive, but you can drink and ride!
Reply
:iconkittencrazy:
KittenCrazy Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013
:facepalmplz:
Reply
:icondarkpixie650:
Darkpixie650 Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
CX
Reply
:iconchameleongiant:
ChameleonGiant Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Student General Artist
XD
Reply
:iconacidbl00d:
Acidbl00d Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
so wrong and yet so funny!
Reply
:icontazhia:
Tazhia Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY! :lol:
Reply
:iconeradrom:
Eradrom Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Professional General Artist
LOL that is so awful!!
Reply
:iconvalor115:
Valor115 Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013
I found out I was loser when I read this and was like "Does that actually work?"
Reply
:iconjynxychan:
JynxyChan Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012
This is so awful! I freaking love it!
Reply
:iconjordanlynch:
jordanlynch Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I HAD THAT RINGTONE ON MY PHONE//shot xD
Reply
:iconlozzdragon:
LozzDragon Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
OMG FUNNY AS!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
:iconcfakatsuki:
cfakatsuki Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012
... I luv it
Reply
:iconsilverrose5:
SilverRose5 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Student Photographer
haha. wow.
Reply
:iconplayerpichu:
playerpichu Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is terrible, but I can't help but love it anyways! :XD:
Reply
:iconhae-ri:
hae-ri Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Professional Photographer
That's just horrible. I can't get why this got so many favourites...
Reply
:iconrcbscorner:
RCBsCorner Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh god...Am I a bad person for laughing at this?
Reply
:iconnekothebro:
Nekothebro Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is terrible why am I laughing
;w;
I love this. Good job (soory for the comment and favorite spam ^^;)
Reply
:iconfirenpowder:
FirenPowder Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012
loooooooooooooooool
Reply
:iconsonicwolvelina99:
SonicWolvelina99 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I see what you did there,
Reply
:icondisneydamsel98:
disneydamsel98 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
(this never happend to me ) i have a seggustion for a quote!
"the ten things i hate about my ex, is the same number as how many other girlfreinds he had while dating me!"
(again this did not happen to me! it's just an idea for a quote)
Reply
:iconmajoraswaker:
MajorasWaker Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
The pyromaniac in me is grinning...
Reply
:iconchalicetheif:
ChaliceTheif Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Student General Artist
OMG I AM SO GLAD I'M NOT ALONE! xD
Reply
:iconlucasblahblah:
lucasblahblah Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
LOLOL
Reply
:iconrottenbits:
ROTTENbits Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
even if something is made with entertainment in mind, and just as a joke, sometimes jokes aren't funny, and are truly rude...
Reply
:icontotally-dead:
Totally-dead Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Try taking a tour of Cyanide and Happiness sometime.
Reply
:iconrottenbits:
ROTTENbits Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
heard of them, only looked at a few of their comics. not all that great in my mind :V
Reply
:icontotally-dead:
Totally-dead Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I love them. I guess that is because, in the end, if you cannot laugh about such things, then your internal psychoanalysis is not doing it`s job. Can you guess what I mean by that?
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:iconrottenbits:
ROTTENbits Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yes i do... but sometimes people cant get past things that hold them back, and their feelings get hurt in more ways than one. i just seen this on the front page when i had commented, and really didn't think it should have been getting any kind of positive attention, when some people might take it the wrong way and get upset.
kudos to those who can laugh at the flaws they see in themselves, and accept. but not everyone is like that... :c
Reply
:icontotally-dead:
Totally-dead Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
One of my best friends is a rather overweight fellow, who within 15 minutes of having met me said quite clearly that he would rather I avoided talking with him about fat jokes. Not because he was offended, but because he was the authority on them, prefered making them, and any I had heard he had likely heard in several different forms before and had maybe even invented. This guy later told me that he has planned his life by eating what he likes, when he likes, and just avoiding becoming too fat to masturbate or be able to have sex. He is one of the happiest people I know, and would have taken the joke and transformed it into one the the most hilariously evil stories you can imagine.

I can respect that. I find it hard to respect someone hypersensitive about their weight, but I find it harder to respect someone who will genuinely criticize them for it. If one does not like this humor, avoid it. Do not condemn it. It is the most honest and equilibrated form in existence.
Reply
:iconrottenbits:
ROTTENbits Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well that's very good of your friend, I'm happy to see he's unperturbed by jokes directed at his weight. That's great. But he's one of many... and as it stands, most people aren't as strong or confident... not everyone has good self esteem, and is able to make jokes about the things that would usually hurt them.

I wasn't exactly trying to see this kind of stuff either, it was on the front page... and just ignoring something and putting it on the back burner doesn't make things better either. The comments section is for stating opinions, so I gave my two cents... and looking around, I'm sure other people have too. Maybe people should rethink things; what's funny to you, may not be as funny to others, and instead hurtful and rude...
Reply
:icontotally-dead:
Totally-dead Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
But the intention is unlikely to be hurtful or rude. More an implied hilarity in the face of the factual existence of both.

If someone does not HAVE the self esteem on such things then I will permit myself to say that they are mentally troubled. Not unstable, I am not talking about someone hallucinating or out of touch with reality here(IE someone psychotic), I am talking about someone with what I will call personality or emotional issues. Someone who is mentally fragile, let`s their mental defense mechanisms lash out all too easily.
Essentially they have trouble adapting to the reality they percieve, but they acknowledge it, instead of psychotics who do not acknowledge it, and, in certain pathologies, even percieve it correctly.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconblackstrike:
blackstrike Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Professional Photographer
*sigh* You are terrible, you know that? If you really wanted to "burn some calories" you'd set a fat MAN on fire! Now you have to go back to gas station for more gasoline...tsk, tsk, tsk...
Reply
:icontvgjoshi:
TVGJOSHI Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Why the hell are some people getting so pumped up over this, it's a genius simple funny wordplay.
Reply
:iconkishori-kun:
Kishori-kun Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
As a fat guy I resent that. As a pyro, I resemble that.
Reply
:iconsmrish:
smrish Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
oh gosh... its so horrible yet i keep laughing!!! ^^
Reply
:iconotakuusagui:
otakuusagui Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i coudn't stop laugthing after reading this xD.
Reply
:iconkoolmonkey12345:
koolmonkey12345 Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
This is offensive. Report it.

Once you laugh at things like this, that makes it seem like its ok to make fun of others.
Reply
:iconzerbapaint:
ZerbaPaint Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student General Artist
I can't believe people think this is funny.
Reply
:icondarklight436:
darklight436 Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
kill joy...
Reply
:iconemilyericson:
emilyericson Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I actually agree.
Reply
:iconarmor-of-fire:
Armor-of-Fire Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student General Artist
this made me laugh so hard xD
Reply
:iconmavannie:
Mavannie Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist
HAHA ! Good one !
Reply
:icondeath-of-innocence:
DeatH-OF-InnocencE Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
If only it were so simple. :3
Reply
:iconsaphirepz:
SaphirePZ Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
o.O
Reply
:iconferricplushy:
FerricPlushy Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
You suck I hope you die soon, this isn't funny, it's disgusting, and shows zero textual creativity.
Reply
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