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Quote #86 by Alpner Quote #86 by Alpner
I do not own any of the quotes in my collection. Most of them were found on the web and I only pick the best out of them. I made these (800x600) images, to print out little entertaining stickers, with minimalistic approach - that's why there is no background.

Because of huge positive feedback among my friends I uploaded them to various sites and here on DA they quickly became huge "hit". I do not consider this as art, but I get more and more requests everyday so I will keep uploading them.

Some of them are just pure fun, some racist or sexually offensive, maybe both, and occasionally with really poor grammar, for which I deeply apologize - please correct me! I will do my best. My intention here is just to make you smile, and nothing more. Hope you like them, but if you don't I don't care... :P

I don't have anything against sharing them, you can use it where you want, whenever you want. The only "copyright" here is the whole collection, not the single quotes. Enjoy!
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:iconstorm-dancer-9:
Storm-Dancer-9 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014
Unless she just dumped him. Then he gets to leave feeling both 
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:icondoubleraiinbow2:
doubleraiinbow2 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2013
actually no, a "real woman" is a person who identifys as a woman.
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:iconbatia:
Batia Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2013
I strongly disagree
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:iconaerocyoxian:
Aerocyoxian Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh look at me~ im skimming through comments so I can START an arguement and hopefully be right over the internet!
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:iconnocturnalsilverwolf:
Nocturnalsilverwolf Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013
LOL
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:iconyukaharu:
Yukaharu Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Quite right. She lets them leave the house being both.
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:iconhokova:
Hokova Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
SO TRUE.
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:iconcoldblackraven:
ColdBlackRaven Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:iconhurrplz:
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:iconcyotedrizzle:
Cyotedrizzle Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
The key to keeping a man XD
Funny quotes!
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:iconveganrebel:
VeganREbel Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012
I let people go wherever they want, and if thats what they expected then i dont want them coming back....
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:iconxshadowofdoubtx:
xShadowOfDoubtx Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
It's the only way to keep him out of trouble! lol
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:iconavyclair:
avyclair Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2012
Yes, she sits outside the bathroom and reminds him to 'finish up' before he's late.
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:iconeeveerulez23:
eeveerulez23 Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2012
O.o
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:iconbitterroots:
bitterroots Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012
so fucking true...hahahah! awesome
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:iconfakerfakerluvpower:
FakerFakerLuvPower Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Student General Artist
And real woman would stay with her baby's father, who takes care of his children, instead of pestering him for child support just because she's to lazy to work. (sorry i'm venting, my cousin's ex just pisses me off sometimes)
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:iconfallenangel0314:
fallenangel0314 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Man, I should have made up some popcorn before reading these comments. Cant believe half of you even wasted your time fighting back and forth about this. Life is too short to fight on the internet with complete strangers.

Besides,I bet all you women who are screaming about this wouldnt have anything to say if it read "Real MEN dont let their women leave the house hungry or horny". Think about that.
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:iconcobaltearl:
CobaltEarl Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Someones gets it. <3
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:iconfallenangel0314:
fallenangel0314 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :D Its always amusing how hypocritical most people are when they are yelling about something they found offensive. Just takes a second to think about it before typing out a huge angry reply lol
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:iconi-am-tsukiko:
i-am-tsukiko Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012  Student General Artist
XD
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:icondestinyfall:
Destinyfall Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Am I the only woman here that read this and pictured a man chained to a bed with a bowl of food in front of him? <,< Because see, all the women are getting mad applying it to themselves but what about what it implies about men? Basically that they need a woman to feed them and all they care about is sex. So, its actually rude the other way too.
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:iconstorysniper:
StorySniper Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012
No offense.....but some of you guys are taking this WAY to seriously. Hey I agree that if a partner were to demand this of you kick 'em so fast they wouldn't even know what happened. However....the artist is just posting this. And it says right in the description that this is just done to make you smile. I'm not saying its right, but c'mon guys. Lighten up a bit! ^^
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:icondolphingirl1205:
dolphingirl1205 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Agreed ^____^
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:iconaiwenstarr:
AiwenStarr Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012
A woman like that never leaves house herself.
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:icondraw-my-heart-on:
draw-my-heart-on Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012
another prood that I am not a real woman xD
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:iconrivisindigoemporium:
RivisIndigoEmporium Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Professional General Artist
Wow. Why for all the butthurt, people? It's an effing quotation. That's it. I happen to be a woman, and I find this frigging hilarious! If this one little thing hurts you so damn much online, how on earth do you thin-skinned types survive in the real world? :|

Look at your life -- look at your choices. Either laugh at the obvious sarcasm like a grown adult, or go weep in a corner like the soppy ponce you are. :unimpressed:
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:iconrebeccannoying:
Rebeccannoying Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I think many people respond to this on DeviantArt because it's a different community than most other places on the web; people are actually nice here, and offensive things like this aren't that common. Also the sarcasm is not obvious, and just because there are terrible people in the world doesn't mean they should just be ignored (this doesn't exactly apply to this, but to bigger issues and life in general). Do you stand by while a child is bullied because there will always be mean people in life? No. You intervene and address the bully. You can also teach the child to cope with those sorts of things at the same time, but apathy is the worst solution. The same concept applies to this. If you choose not to respond, then that's a fine solution for you, but don't harp on other people for being offended by something that's meant to be offensive. Caring about feminism hardly makes someone a "soppy ponce".
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:iconrivisindigoemporium:
RivisIndigoEmporium Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Professional General Artist
Your arguments fail to address one major thing: the fact that this is a JOKE. Should people be punished because they found humor in something? Do I deserve to be branded as brainwashed for laughing at something that others find offensive? Whether or not you support feminism is not the issue here (and for you to insinuate that I might not just because I laughed at the quote does nothing but shine very poorly on you), but the fact that people are over-sensitive, under-whelmed, and can't seem to take a mild jab as it was intended to be without crying foul. If women, myself included, expect to be treated with equality, then learn to put up or hush up. Feminism does not need championing from those who behave like the aforementioned soppy ponces I described previously – it needs diligence and steady work. Go do that instead, and then maybe we will have something to talk about. :bored:
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:iconzetey:
Zetey Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012
So if we make a racist joke, is that okay, and doesn't make me a racist? No. Invalid argument. People hide behind "its just a joke" to appear as though they do not share the same feelings/values towards the subject.
So if I called a black guy the N word and then said "DUDEEE Im justttt joking". That makes it totally okay. Oh, I see.
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:iconrivisindigoemporium:
RivisIndigoEmporium Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Professional General Artist
...Considering as how I have heard several young black men refer to themselves as "niggers" in jest, why would I want to give power to that word when even THEY don't take it seriously? Try again. :hmm:
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:iconrebeccannoying:
Rebeccannoying Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I did in fact address that this quote is a joke; I said the sarcasm is not evident. I also said that while the internet may be rampant with this type of humor, the community on DeviantArt is not. Thus it is understandable that it be taken in a different context. I never said anybody should be punished or is brainwashed for laughing at offensive humor. Personally I find it to be in poor taste, but that isn't the point. The point is that you asked why so many people responded to this, and I gave you several reasons that are a little more in depth than being "butthurt". It is understandable that some people might not take it as a joke, and the idea of compromising someone's womanhood because they might not feel like cooking or having sex all the time is terrible. Furthermore, by posting this on his account, the creator implies that this is something he feels and thus merits discussion of the issue. As I said before, you may continue to laugh at it, but you can't expect to sling insults at people without some of them getting riled. It's hardly thin-skinned to defend yourself as a woman.
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:iconrivisindigoemporium:
RivisIndigoEmporium Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Professional General Artist
Was I insulting someone specifically or was I making a general observation based on the behavior already demonstrated by others? Either way, you are doing EXACTLY what I'm talking about. You are making a big deal out of nothing. Defending yourself as a woman? Against what, exactly? A sense of humor? A joke? Some perceived threat that God forbid might just oppress you if you don't wallop it into submission by preaching about the feelings of others? The last time I checked, people can say as they damn well please – both men AND women. Save the defense of womanhood for something a tad more pressing such as the attempts of various states to restrict women's healthcare access – which is a fight that deserves a touch more oomph than some pointless online squabble with a complete stranger over how some random text-based imagery might possibly be damaging the collective female psyche. In all seriousness, how is THIS QUOTE UP HERE ruining the lives of women? Did it take away our freedom to vote? Have an opinion? Own land? Drive a car? Get a job? Say no to marriage? Deny our ability to open bank accounts in our own name? If it has to any extent whatsoever, then I will be perfectly happy to take it ALL back. There are bigger things to be worrying about than this, and it boggles my mind that some of you just aren't grasping it... :facepalm:

See, I adhere to the rule of Don't Like, Don't Look. No one forced you to take up the banner of righteousness; you did that yourself. Don't Like, Don't Look saves a lot of time and keeps the well-meaning defenders of light and truth from getting headaches on account of us insensitive sorts. I advise you to do the same, my dear, because whether you like to admit it or not, deviantART is just like any other place on the internet in that bad attitudes can manifest in any number of ways. Nothing and no one is above that, and if you haven't seen any nastiness or foul humor on this site, lately, then I would love to know where you have been hiding out. Humor has always been made at the expense of someone else, and no amount of wet-behind-the-ears bawwing is ever going to change that. :disbelief:

As for the sarcasm not being evident, I beg to differ, madame. You won't last very long online if you don't develop a sense for it – and more than that, how could you read the creator's comments and NOT understand the point behind this? It's RIGHT there. They state his intent and his desires, and therefore dissolve any intentional prompt for a misinterpretation. It looks pretty straight-forward to me that he meant this only an innocent crack, and nothing else – and truth be told, he succeeded. I also doubt he meant for this to get people flapping their arms about in anger over women's issues, and claiming that that's what he wanted appears to be your supposition on the matter and not much else. :iconunimpressednodplz:

So, sweet-pea, you can either come along for the ride with the rest of us and enjoy yourself, or you can move along to something else perhaps more worthy of your time and attention. Since you seem to so desperately want the last word, here, I'll give it to you. Your call. :hmm:
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:iconrebeccannoying:
Rebeccannoying Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I said it twice and I'll say it again; you asked why people are reacting to this quote even though it is a joke and in other contexts would not merit the same response. The answer is this is Deviant"Art", not Deviant"Comedy Club" so it is out of place here. It'd be like if you found and apple cart in the middle of a hardware store. The two just don't go together. Yes the internet is rampant with this sort of thing and yes there are MUCH bigger fish to fry in the grand scheme of feminism, but this is an offensive joke; it is bound to bother somebody. While it may not be that big of an issue, people have a right to respond, and they are not out of place for being irked at the statement. People have different tastes in humor and clearly some people did not find this funny. It's the same concept as a joke about rape; some might laugh even though they know it's technically "wrong" to do so, and others won't find it funny at all. If you look through the responses to this, there are some that over react. However, most are a reasonable statement of that person's feeling on the subject. Not that many people are replying in an unreasonable fashion.

And I didn't want to make this personal, but since you seem to think I'm trying to be a white knight of feminism I suppose I should explain myself. Personally, I'm not really that bothered by this joke. It's not my type of humor, but that's alright, not everything is. However, I have been a victim of domestic abuse and sexism before and I can understand how others might be offended by this. I honestly don't want to use my experiences as and excuse for self righteousness or anything, but because of them I can very much empathize with other people who are more bothered by this. Given how devastating and frustrating sexist discrimination can be, it is very reasonable for people to respond to this type of thing, especially on a website that is in no way geared for offensive humor. You can laugh at it (and I'm honestly not trying to say you are laughing at feminism as well, and I apologize that my first reply implied that) but understand that perhaps other people have a different interpretation of this "joke". You asked why they would respond in such a way, and I gave you several reasons why. I'm playing devil's advocate. We can agree to disagree if you like, but perhaps consider other perspectives before you judge so harshly.
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:iconrivisindigoemporium:
RivisIndigoEmporium Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Professional General Artist
And I didn't want to make this personal, but... :ohnoes:

...And you lost me. :|

Personal? Oh, please. Whatever your experience, I'm not going to insult you by expressing either shock or dismay – nor will I belittle you by pretending that I care when I can't put actual sincerity behind it. Instead, I will be honest – just as I have been right from the start. For my part, I have known too many women who have been through their own horrors, some more chilling than others, and you know something? All of them at a certain point have each thrown up their hands at people walking around them on eggshells. They want to be treated with basic human dignity and esteem – not as if they're made of sugar-glass without the ability to laugh. That, my dear, is the mark of surviving – laughter. Laughter takes away the power of whatever it is that haunts you, and even I have heard rape victims laugh at rape jokes – freely, and unabashedly. They've even laughed here, because although you might not think it belongs, comedy is one of the oldest art-forms we have – and unless the site's policy is completely flawed, then ALL art is welcome here...especially when one definition of “art” is anything that can create an emotional response. :greetings:

Now as I ponder it...if you have gone through what you say you have, and I will take your word for it that you did, why suddenly bring it up now? Why not just calmly mention it right in the beginning to say, “Hey, I get what you're saying but this hits a little close to home for me, so let's talk about it,” instead of just dancing around the bush? If the joke didn't bother you, then why approach me as though it did? Why try to answer me as a “white knight” when the easier thing would have been to just ignore me as another bitter, unfeeling soul? Better yet, why even click on a thumbnail that was BOUND to upset you in some way when you supposedly have so much sensitivity to the subject? On that account alone, I'm not feeling especially inclined to give either you or your arguments any further thought after this. By mentioning your personal experiences for the sole purpose of claiming to have a more empathetic stance than I do, practically waving them in my face in the process, you have stooped quite low – especially when you have NO idea who I am or what I've experienced, either. :grump:

As it stands right now, honey, you've made a lot of assumptions so far – and for the record, playing devil's advocate isn't a Get Out of Jail Free card. I won't use my experiences either as a weapon against others or as an excuse for being sour. Instead, I own them, insuring that they won't ever own me. Jokes, especially those that are archaic in nature like the one above, are meant for a quick chuckle and an even quicker dismissal – and taking it too seriously gives it too much power. If people can't figure that out, then I pity them. That being said, I really don't have anything more to say to you or your sense of moral adherence. I will continue to laugh, and you may continue to be soppy. :nod:

Cheers. :aww:
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:iconzetey:
Zetey Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012
Becomes sexism hurts. It's an actual problem. Sexism hurts our pay equality, our sexual equality and creates stereotypes besides countless other harmful effects it has on women in 2012. We are "butt hurt" because people continue to hide behind "oh it's just a __" while in reality it has real consequences and it just fosters an environment where it's okay to think women are useful for nothing more than shit like this. It's not funny. You are just ignorant. By the way, just because you are a woman and find this hilarious, doesn't mean anything. Inert and self projected sexism is a real thing. Educate yourself.
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:iconfakerfakerluvpower:
FakerFakerLuvPower Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Student General Artist
Then why not tell the government. I can agree that the system is broken, but complaining on the internet won't do a thing.
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:iconrebeccannoying:
Rebeccannoying Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I completely agree with you. Brushing it off makes everything worse. I can understand if that other person doesn't think this quote merits people getting upset, but I think that those who are offended have every right to be.
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:iconrivisindigoemporium:
RivisIndigoEmporium Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Professional General Artist
See? Butthurt. Thank you for proving my point for me with astonishing brilliance. I appreciate it. ;P
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:iconzetey:
Zetey Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012
butt hurt implies being hurt over something that is not hurtful. Wow at this ignorance to be honest.
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:iconrivisindigoemporium:
RivisIndigoEmporium Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Professional General Artist
Oh, newbie...you're adorable. :pat:
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:iconzetey:
Zetey Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012
Oh at this becomes is supposed to be "Because" mistake
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:iconneozaki:
Neozaki Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Fuck off.
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:iconafare24get:
afare24get Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
~lol!~ Excellent.
Reply
:iconrockygems:
RockyGems Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Student General Artist
And a real man learns to cook and wank :D
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:iconbatmanwithbunnyears:
BatmanWithBunnyEars Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012   General Artist
I'm way ahead of ya! Well, I still don't know how to cook, but I'm halfway there! :iconsuperw00tplz:
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:iconrockygems:
RockyGems Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Student General Artist
That's the spirit! :iconthumbsupplz:
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:icondeviantcookie:
DeviantCookie Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012
Hello sexist 1950's... :-l
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:iconvampiremeerkat:
VampireMeerkat Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
In general, a real woman is born with a vagina.
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:iconrebeccannoying:
Rebeccannoying Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Amen. :)
Reply
:iconmeadow-rue:
meadow-rue Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012   Traditional Artist
Note to everyone: There is no such thing as a 'real woman', there is no such thing as a 'real man'. These people are complete a myth cooked up by the media and bigots who want to force people to think, act, dress, live and love the way they want them to!

Living your life on your own terms, the way you want to, and not allowing yourself to be dictated to by others doesn't make you 'not real'. It makes you a unique person with a unique life, just like everyone else alive.
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:icondreamart101:
Dreamart101 Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Student
So a real woman must keep his man at home so that's your point ?
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July 1, 2012
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